My grandmother, Fern Roberts, passed away last Sunday. She was 87.
Of all the things one might recall about their grandparents, I think the one universal memory shared by Grandma Fernie’s 9 grandchildren and most of her 20+ great-grandchildren is the occasion of our birthdays.
As my cousin Lisa so eloquently stated at Grandma’s funeral on Wednesday, there was one thing you could always count on for your birthday. You would get a card, a brief note about the weather and her health, and a stick of gum, almost always Wrigley’s Spearmint, Wintergreen, or Juicy Fruit. She’d sometimes ask you to come see her, or send a picture of yourself, or draw a picture for her so she could stick it on her fridge. But the stick of gum was the thing you enjoyed most.
When these events happen it is often difficult for everyone who’s life has been touched by – or made possible, in a way – to get to the place to pay respects and celebrate their life. This was the case for many of us, but I think our showing would have made Grandma happy.
Tami, Boomer, and I made the trip to Pittsburg, Kansas by way of Lexington. We spent Monday evening with Dad and Suze.
We drove down to Joplin on Tuesday and because of some travel bonuses, we would stay here – about 30 miles away. Tuesday evening we had dinner with Mom and Vern at Chicken Annie’s. After dinner we drove out to my sister’s in Columbus for a quick visit and then it was back to Joplin.
The funeral was on Wednesday. It was a nice ceremony, and my brother Greg played Amazing Grace on his saxophone as a tribute.
From the church in Pittsburg, we drove out to the cemetery in Girard where she will be buried. I placed six packages of Wrigley’s gum on her casket.
We all went back to the church where the local members prepared a nice lunch of “groceries.” With all 9 grandchildren in attendance, this was a great opportunity to take photos and exchange contact information.
Here is a photo of 8 of Grandma’s grandchildren. The back row are my mom’s children – Greg, Robi, Brad and Paul. The front row are my uncle’s children – Debbie, Cindy, Valerie, and Lisa.

This is a photo of the same grandchildren with my mom and her brother, my Uncle Frankie.

Here is a picture of me, my brothers Greg and Paul, my sister Robi, and our parents.

Here is a photo of (almost) everyone.

Later that evening, we all changed our clothes and went out to my sister’s house in Columbus for an impromptu party. We drank beer and homemade wine, told stories, laughed, tried to play music, ate four pizzas (which really freaked out my niece Maria) and generally had a good time. It was nice for the four children (Greg, Robi, Brad, and Paul) to be together under the same roof with our parents and step-parents. My uncle Frankie, his wife Pat, and their son Frankie Jr, came out too. My sister’s kids – my niece’s and nephew – all live in the area and they were there with their families too. Greg’s daughter, another niece, Chelsea made the trip too.
Wednesday was a good day. We said goodbye to my grandmother. We said hello to each other again. And for some, we said hello for the first time.